Taking a plunge

12 11 2008

OK, so quite a few trans folk have been showing their faces on their blogs. I hesitated for a long time. One of the reasons was that I was worried that a student would accidentally stumble across my blog and put 2 and 2 together. You know what? I don’t care anymore. At this point, I’m pretty sure that several students know, just because my occasional ventures to the campus this semester (I’m on leave) have consisted of quite a few encounters with confused looking students. Also, I’ve given guest presentations to students that have had me in the past as a teacher – as a woman. And I was now introduced as male so . . .

Another reason that I hesitated was that I feared the parent of another child at my son’s school would see it and start spreading the words, and that my son would be bullied by other kids. However, since that time, I’ve realised that the kids are seeing something and are already teasing my son about his mom looking like a guy. So . . . I would rather everything be out in the open and equip my son with tools for dealing with other kids’ meanness than hide and create stress for both of us.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog entry for Jillian’s first blog. Jillian is a Montreal transwoman who works at a local newspaper. This paper gave her online space to create a blog about transsexual/transgender issues on their website after she came out to her company and my entry was part of a series of entries from “correspondents.” After debating for weeks, I provided a picture that she could put up (I now see that it’s no longer there, but it was up, I swear!!!).

What eventually led me to put my picture up online in association with my trans identity was that the stress of hiding was just too much to bear. Everyone that matters in my life knows that I’m trans. Also, it seems contradictory that I would be out and proud in the rest of my life but not be willing to put my face next to my words. As for the issues raised above, I changed my views on them as outlined. I also figured that the likelihood of anyone stumbling across Jillian’s or my blog was pretty low, unless they were already looking around for trans stuff.

So what I’m getting at, friendly readers, is that it’s time for me to show my face here. Gender Outlaw has been doing it, Joyce has been doing it . . . so why not me?

Here are some before, during and after pics. Enjoy!

Nancy at 16

Nancy at 16


Nancy at 29

Nancy at 29

Jacky at 35 - 1st injection, May 26, 2008

Jacky at 35 - 1st injection, May 26, 2008

Jacky at 35 - 7th injection, July 7, 2008

Jacky at 35 - 7th injection, July 7, 2008

Jacky - 16th injection, September 8, 2008

Jacky - 16th injection, September 8, 2008

Jacky - Injection 25, November 10, 2008

Jacky - Injection 25, November 10, 2008

That’s it for now!

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14 responses

12 11 2008
Joyce

whoo, whoo — hormones suit you really well.

12 11 2008
Jacky V.

*blush* Thanks Joyce!

13 11 2008
devastatingyet

Hey, congratulations! And also, yeah, you’re a hottie 🙂 For what it’s worth.

13 11 2008
Tarald

I think it is great to see you! Finally. It takes courage to post not only how you look now, but also the before-pictures. I haven’t done that yet. It is amazing how fast you have changed! The same process took me a couple of years, and not just because I had to wait to get the hormones. And you look good!

I also agree on how to face the world and deal with the teasing of your son. I guess I am fortunate that my daughter is younger. She goes to kindergarden, where everyone knows her mother is a man. When she starts school, she will be living with her father and his wife. I hope that will make it easier for her. I’m moving in january to the other end of the country, and she stays here. I think that is the best solution for everyone involved, not mainly because I am trans.

13 11 2008
Jacky V.

Thanks for the compliments, folks. *blushing again*

14 11 2008
genderoutlaw

I definitely grappled with being stumbled upon, but they I figured if someone found me, they had to be seeking out trans stuff, so there would be a good chance that they’d be cool about it. I don’t publish my name in print on my blog, though it’s not hard to figure it out. I just don’t want it indexed in Google, causing my blog to come up in search results for my name.

It can be difficult to make these decisions knowing they might impact a child, but I have a feeling your little one is pretty special, and it’s clear how much he adores you. When kids are raised with love, they can do (and deal with) anything.

I checked out Jillian’s blog and was a little taken aback to hear about Christine Daniels’ de-transition. Making the decision to go back to being Mike must have been really hard. Talk about courage.

Your post over there was awesome! An excellent FTM 101 piece. Great positive feedback too.

Great to see your photos. I want your chin gruff!!

14 11 2008
Jacky V.

Yeah, I guess we’re in different situations. Finding you out might affect a potential client’s decision to hire you or not whereas in my case, it doesn’t have much of an impact.

Thanks for the comment on my post on Jillian’s blog. I was glad to have the feedback.

As for chin gruff . . . .it’ll come! I had some before I started T so I kinda had an unfair advantage. To think of all the years that I desperately got rid of it almost daily with that smelly chemical crap like Veet!!! Ewwww!

15 11 2008
Jillian Page

Wow! Amazing photographs. Congratulations on posting them, Jacky.

By the way, if you’re wondering what happened to your photo on the Patent Pending site, Canwest has been revamping the blogs and lost almost all of my photo files. Hopefully, they will recover them some day. Sigh . . .

I’ll be looking for another piece from you for that site once they’ve finished revamping it.

Love
Jillian

15 11 2008
Jacky V.

Thanks Jillian. I never get tired of trying to discern the common (physical) thread that led from 16 year old Nancy to 35 year old Jacky.

No problem about the pic. I just didn’t want my reader to think I was lying 😉

5 02 2009
BT

OMG JACKY! We hadn’t really heard from you since like your first injection. Wow, it’s amazing how big the change is so fast! O_o CRAZY.

Your poofy sixteen-year-old hair is so floofy!

–Sneakergirl

5 02 2009
Jacky V.

Yeah, testosterone acts pretty damn fast. But these days, my estrogen seems to be fighting back and I’m stagnating a bit in terms of changes. I’ve even lost some of the hair on my legs. Grrrr. And my voice has pretty much leveled out whereas I was expecting more changes.

5 02 2009
BT

Well, a bunch of body changes go like that, with a quick few first changes and then slowing down. Works with building muscle mass and strength, wouldn’t be surprised if hormones are the same way. I mean, your body has to slow down and catch up sometime, right?

–Mac

7 02 2009
Jacky V.

Yeah, I guess. But still . . .it’s annoying. Well, as long as my damn period doesn’t come back.

12 02 2009
BT

God, no period. HEAVEN.

–Rogan

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