Contact me

Since I’ve started this blog, I’ve had a number of people leave comments trying to get in touch with me personally. A few times, it’s been because they were going to be in Montreal and were looking for local resources. Other times, they wanted to talk to me about their own situation privately. Luckily, I’ve never ever had any hate-filled comments on here.

Therefore, I’ve decided to provide a means for people to contact me by adding a contact form. Considering the above, I highly doubt that this will lead to hate mail and I’m pretty sure that people will use this feature responsibly.

I’m open to receiving emails from:

  • people would like to say something about a blog entry but are unwilling to post publically for whatever reason;
  • people who simply want to talk to someone like them because they feel isolated (caveat: I have limited time in my life for email so I can’t promise long correspondences but I’m glad to serve as a “first-step” real-life trans person if it’s of any help to any lonely trans people out there;
  • people who would like to exchange links and who don’t want to clutter up the comment sections (although I think it is good “publicity” for your page that way anyway;
  • trans people who will be visiting Montreal and who would like to get in touch with local trans people.

I am NOT open to receiving email from:

  • People who want to sell me something;
  • People who are looking to broaden their sexual repertoire by adding an FTM notch to their bedpost;
  • People who want to bash trans folk or any other group;
  • People who need councelling. I’m not qualified to councel anyone and am not inclined to either.

If I find that too many people of the latter categories write to me, I’m afraid I will have to take the contact form off this site.

8 responses

28 11 2009

Hi Jacky,

Only today did I happen upon the post you made on JP’s blog of Sept. 22nd ( I was on tour at the time) and feel that I must congratulate you on not only the content of your post but also on your crystal-clear and generously descriptive prose style.
Words are the tools of understanding and you, plainly, have a sack full of them!
Without one grain of obsequy may I say to you “Well done” and many thanks.

Yours sincerely,

Dee Palmer
ps And my best wishes, too, for every success in your continuing journey.

28 11 2009
Jacky V.

Hi Dee;

Thank you so much for dropping by and leaving such a nice comment! I’m totally blushing. I must congratulate you as well. You have a lot of guts to publicly transition in a world that is known for its machismo and homophobia. Very admirable. I hope you have the support you need.

Best of luck in your ongoing endeavours : ) Hope to cross paths and have a drink if you’re ever in Montreal.


25 03 2010

Hi Jacky,

After weeks of intense work and little else, I logged in today to JP’s site to see
how she was doing and then clicked on the link to your site.
I noticed 25 march and a surgery date for you. Has it/will it happen today?
I’ll be thinking of you – it’s a very lonely and demanding experience for the strongest of us.
Please let me know your news.
You can email me at
I’m likely to see any message from you much sooner than via your site.


Dee x

31 03 2010
Jacky V.

Thanks for the support Dee! I must’ve gotten your thoughts because everything went very well and I’m at home recovering.

1 12 2009
Franz Antoni

TB Jacky,

Read your commentary r.e., Spaces and I, too wish their was a space for “straight” men to mingle with FTMs that like men. I live in San Francisco and have yet to happen upon one, but you did give me an idea to start one, thx.

Happy Trails,


5 12 2009
Jacky V.

Hi Franz;

Thanks for reading and commenting. I’m a little intrigued: when you say “straight” men, you mean men who identify as hetero but would be open to female-to-male transsexuals? That’s a really interesting idea. I don’t know what it’s like in San Fran but around here, very few “hetero” men even know that transmen exist. When they here the word transsexual, they usually think of MTFs and the whole “she-male” or “chick with a dick” stereotype and, from what I hear from my trans sisters, they unfortunately want them only for sex and not for relationships. So I’d be curious to see how the hetero male openness to FTMs would play out. Also, would these guys still really ID as hetero if they were dating a guy or would they still see themselves as “straight” because they guy they were dating might have female genitals?

Personally, I would love to meet guys, cis or trans, no matter how they ID in terms of orientation who were open to a guy like me. Most men I meet are either gay or hetero. When they’re bi, often they still think in binaries so that to them, I’m too freaky: not really “masculine” to them because I don’t have a dick but definitely not “feminine”. Also, the men I tend to be attracted to wind up being hetero. I like scruffy kinda guys: working men, bearded, lumberjack types LOL. And very few guys that look like that are gay or bi it seems and very few gay or bi guys look like that. So I’m kinda screwed, not in the fun way. *sigh* Fortunately, I’m bi and very open to women of all origins so this doesn’ t mean that I can’t have a relationship but, still, I really miss that male presence in my life.

11 05 2010
Rae Vandenberg

Thanks for your web site. You write very tenderly of having your son and being grateful for that part of your femaleness. It’s not a perspective I’ve heard before.

I’m always impressed by those who want to blog. I could never do such a thing. I’m too introverted.

I’ve struggled with weight all my life, along with pcos. While not the same struggle, I understand how painful it is to have a body that doesn’t match your inside.

Good luck to you.


13 05 2010
Jacky V.

Thanks for commenting Rae! Yes, a lot of body struggles are similarly. I had poor self-esteem for a long time because of my weight. It was especially hard when I was living as female. Fortunately, I wound up socialising with a lot of dykes for whom body size was not only a non-issue, but for whom fat was often seen as beautiful. So that helped a lot, even pre-transition.

Anyway, thanks for writing. Hope to see you around again!

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