This post by Bond made me go YES YES YES! They describe how people often apologetically identify one way (butch or femme, for example) with the caveat that they don’t live up/down to the stereotypes that are commonly associated with said identity. They suggest that people, instead, claim the words they they feel they identify with and make no apologies. If someone identifies as butch, they shouldn’t have to apologise for liking things normally perceived as “girlie”. I can related to this big time. I sometimes do say, especially when I’m giving a presentation on being a trans guy, or talking about it casually to someone who knows nothing about the topic, that I choose to identify (mostly) as male even though I don’t choose to adopt all the masculine stereotypes. But when I do that, it’s usually with the purpose of educating rather than apologising, as in: “I’m a guy, I don’t have a cock, I drink herbal tea and I’m a feminist. Deal with it.”
Earlier today, I read this article on reconceptualising masculinity. Similarly, it encourages people who identify as “masculine” in any way to give up their reliance on outdated models of masculinity and to expand the term to include anything that masculine-identified people do. Most importantly, the author encourages us to explore the possibility of having a masculinity that does not include misogyny. As a male-identified feminist, I’m SO down with that.