Men’s Washrooms

24 03 2009

As soon as I started to be consistently read as male and started to see that my presense in the women’s room made women seem uncomfortable, I ventured into the men’s washrooms. I haven’t found it particularly stressful. I don’t worry too much about whether other guys can see that I’m sitting to pee by the way my feet are pointing. I figure that even if they did notice, what guy in his right mind would call me on it?

It’s only stressful in two ways. One is when I’m with my son. He knows that he’s supposed to call me Jacky instead of Mommy in the men’s room. I’ve explained to him that some people might get mad if they heard him call me Mommy because it would make them think I’m a girl. But sometimes he slips.

The other stressful thing is when all the stalls are taken. Since I have to sit to pee, urinals are not an option. Men’s washroom etiquette seems to dictate that you don’t wait for a stall. The one time I stood and waited I got tons of weird looks. So I leave and come back. But when you really really have to pee that can be pretty stressful.

I haven’t practiced peeing with my Stand To Pee device very much. I should because I’m starting to see the practical applications  of learning to pee standing up. It’s not that I attach that much value to it as such but being dependent on there being a free stall when there are sometimes only one or two compared to four or five in women’s rooms (as was the case in this particular mall) can be quite the stress. Not to mention that when men use the stalls they take forever. What, do they carry newspapers with them  everywhere?? 😀

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12 responses

25 03 2009
BT

Enh, we learned to piss standing up primarily due to being in Japan, where the average toilet stall is the porcelain equivalent of a hole in the ground.

Sometimes, waiting for a stall is just too much trouble.

–Rogan

25 03 2009
Shirley Anne

They’re probably reading the graffiti or jotting down phone numbers Jacky…LOL. I can see what a dilemma you have when you go for a pee. Remember though when using a stall and your feet point the wrong way, who’s to know you’re not having a number two? Guys don’t stand up to do that! If you find yourself standing waiting you could be waiting to do the same. I am not sure how the Stand to Pee device works but it would have to be a little discreet wouldn’t it? Most guys don’t ‘hide’ their members when peeing. It will be more difficult when the urinal is an open one, that is one continuous wall and gutter if you get them over there. Here in Merry Old England there are some still around, not that I frequent them of course! Your greatest problem is of course your son but that won’t be forever, he’ll soon grow up and understand. Love

Shirley Anne x

25 03 2009
Jacky V.

Rogan, that’s interesting. Yeah, I know of some female bodied persons who are able to pee standing up. I never got the hang of it.

Shirley: Yeah, I realise guys sit to do the other thing but they take longer than I take peeing. LOL. I’m in and out of there like a bat out of hell. But, yeah, I could still wait. It’s just awkward because that’s when other guys actually look at each other it seems.

The STP devices look fairly realistic unless someone gets up close and looks at it, which, from what I understand, violates men’s room etiquette so I’m not too worried. I haven’t seen any of those open urinals yet. I don’t believe that they’re that common anymore.

As for my son, he does understand but, like anyone else, he slips on occasion. I don’t get mad at him. If anyone were to comment, I’d just say I’m his mom but I’m a guy. I look masculine enough that no one would really question it, I think.

29 03 2009
barok.eszter

Well, well. 🙂 My humble opinion is that transmen definitely shouldn’t worry as

1. several men are sitting to pee. It can be more comfy and less messy (esp. if they’re drunk, hehe).

2. even if you are “socially expected” to use the urinals in public restrooms, peeing is not the only thing you can do in a toilet… and nobody makes guesses what you’re doing with your feet pointing to the door.

3. I’m a born-female and I do carry newspapers – or at least sth to read – with me coz otherwise I cannot poop at all. :)))) So gender stereotypes are failing here. 😉

Eszter

ps.: Have you also realized that men just love peeing in the nature? “Hey, what are you doing, we’re home in five minutes”, I’m telling my friend and he still pees outside, by the tree. lol

30 03 2009
Jay

Once you master the stp, you won’t go back to the stalls. Unless you need to… Try the urinals at O’Hare on a busy day, and there are NO dividers between the urinals. And nobody thinks twice. Pretty awesome.

5 04 2009
Jacky V.

Thanks for sharing that Jay. I have a feeling that I could get used to STPs in a hurry. When I first got mine, I practiced a couple of times and got the hang of it pretty quick . . . but that was naked in the shower. I have to move on and practice with clothes on.

7 04 2009
Jacky V.

Hi Barok;

Thanks for reading and commenting. Indeed, we don’t need to worry so much and, typically, I don’t worry too much either. However, knowing something intellectually and then living the real-life situation are two different things. Being in an all-male space after years of female socialisation is not an easy leap to make. So sometimes our emotions get the best of us, just as with anything else.

As for bio men sitting for things other than peeing . . .yeah, that’s true. But they’re there a heck of a lot longer than when I sit, pee and wipe in less than a minute and half. But it’s not something I actively think about when I’m in there most of the time. I figure it’s not like anyone would say anything about it even if they did notice.

Cheers!

8 04 2009
BB

Hi, I’m a (biological) man. You can wait for a stall and people will just assume you need to shit, no worries about that. You can also wait for a urinal if there’s none free. The only thing that might surprise people is if you wait for a stall then come out super quickly before others are finished, but nobody’s going to say anything. Men peeing sitting down is pretty uncommon, even if drunk, but it does happen occasionally.

The only other bit of etiquette I can think which might not be totally obvious is to not stand too close to people while waiting.

8 04 2009
Jacky V.

Thanks BB. Yeah, I figure as much in terms of waiting for the stall. I guess a lot of it is my own personal hang-up, due to female socialisation maybe (??) – I don’t like people knowing that I even DO that. Haha. Weird, I know. Everyone does it. I know bio guys don’t seem to be as squeamish about the whole crapping thing so there is probably no shame in standing there waiting for a stall for them.

Funny thing, now that you mention it, I was at an Iron Maiden concert a few days ago. It was my 12th one ever but my first one as male. So I had never been in a male washroom that was so packed with people waiting in line. So when I get there, I actually stood aside when urinals came free to let the other guys go and stood facing the stalls. One guy actually asked me, out of politeness, if I was waiting for a stall before passing by toward the urinals. And he was so casual about it. So that eased a lot of my stress.

The whole speed thing is something I thought might look odd. But, yeah, I also doubt anyone would say: “Hey, that was quick. Are you a GIRL or something??” LOL

Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment!

17 06 2009
Femme

In the early days my saving grace family bathrooms.

17 06 2009
Femme

In the early days, when my kid was young, my saving grace family bathrooms.

18 06 2009
Jacky V.

Yeah, we don’t have many of those around here, it seems. It hasn’t been much of a problem recently anyway. No one who sees me even questions my gender anymore.

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