Another side effect?

21 11 2008

It seems that, having gained more self confidence as a person, I’m now able to go into very scary territories in areas that have nothing to do with transition or other things that people sometimes compliment me for being “brave” about.  Today, I went ice skating for the first time. My mom knew how to ice skate but since there wasn’t much ice where we lived when I was a kid, I never got to learn. Then, I grew up with a terrible fear of ice: this fear that I would fall and break my neck. Determined not to transfer my own fears and self-imposed limitations to my son, I faced me fears, went with him to an indoor rink, rented some skates and went at it!

There were lots of kids since there was a ped day in most elementary schools in the area. They seemed to think it was a hoot to see this 30 something year old guy hanging on to the railing, desperate not to fall. And my little guy did way better than I did! After the third time around the rink, he would spend up to 2-3 minutes skating without holding on to anything! I didn’t even make it to a minute. BUT: just putting on ice skates and venturing out onto the long-dreaded ice was an accomplishment for me. And, yes, we loved it and will go back!

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5 responses

21 11 2008
Jillian Page

Cool! Skating is a wonderful pastime. You might try holding a hockey stick while you skate — gives you more balance. And, who knows, maybe the Habs will draft you.

Congratulations, Jacky!

Jillian

23 11 2008
genderkid

I found that transitioning has made me more confident too, even though I’m still only socially transitioning. I’ve found the courage to speak up for myself, to speak up for lgbt issues in general, even to start an lgbt movement at my school.

And like you with ice-skating, I love it and I will go on!

24 11 2008
Jacky V.

Ha! Jillian, if you KNEW how NOT interested in hockey I am . . . I’m one of the least competitive people that I know, unless we’re talking about psychological warfare hahaha. And testosterone has shown no signs of changing that.

Genderkid, that’s great! Yes, I found that the changes were happening before T for me so social transition has a LOT to do with it. By the way, it’s not *just* social transition, it’s a BIG step. Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re *just* socially transitionning, if you ever decide to not physically transition or if it takes a while before you do so.

24 11 2008
genderkid

Thanks. I didn’t even think about writing “just”, but you’re right, there isn’t anything minor about social transition; I could declare myself male without a single operation or hormone injection. However, I’m really looking forward to changing my body; that will be pure ecstasy.

In the meantime, I’ll cheer all you physically-transitioning ice-skating guys from the sidelines!

24 11 2008
Jacky V.

Thanks for the cheers : ) I understand that you are looking forward to having your body come closer to reflecting your inside. Trust me! But it’s amazing how much better I felt just having made the decision before even starting T. Starting T became one other step, NOT the first one. And, like we both noted, there is nothing minor or insignificant about those very first steps involved in social transition.

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