I’m a boy, folks!

16 08 2008

OK, the testosterone is working miracles. After nearly 12 weeks on T, I’m read as male 95% of the time, even when I have to talk. My voice is still very ambiguous but, combined with a masculine looking face, strapped breasts and male clothing, it’s gotten deep enough on most days for people to read me as male. Most strangers that I interact with (cashiers, etc) call me “sir” or “monsieur”. Kids that meet my son at the park point over at me and say “That’s your dad.”

Now, I spent the day at the LGBT community fair and was taken for a woman 5 times!!!! I spoke to some trans folks I know about this and a few of them mentioned that it’s their experience as well. For some reason, we aren’t read the way we present in LGB(T?) environments. WTF?!?  Am I not masculine enough to look like a queer guy? It was frustrating, but I gently corrected them and took the opportunity to inform a few new people of what a transmale is instead of getting angry. Most people were interested in learning about it so I guess, in the end, that’s a positive sign.

At the same time, there is a part of me that thinks it’s cool that we’ve come far enough that a woman can go so far into what has long been seen as masculine territory and still be considered a woman. It makes me happy that the world is safer for butches and other masculine but female-identified folks than it was during, say, the 1960s.



13 responses

17 08 2008

One idea, perhaps the LGBT community misread you BECAUSE they are more accustomed to pushing the limits of gender expression? Perhaps they’re so much more used to seeing stages of in-between that they don’t read “masculine” necessarily as “male.”


17 08 2008

This is a very exciting time! Gosh it’s already been 12 weeks….wow that went fast for me…how about you? I remember this time very clearly and it is hard to explain just how tuned in you are to others perception of you at this time. Enjoy! I’m am so very glad that your “enjoying and loving the changes”. Best wishes and may the rest of your journey be this confirming and validating.

17 08 2008

Congratulations, Jacky. From what I’ve seen of FtM folks, testosterone is mighty powerful stuff. You’ll have a beard before long.


17 08 2008
Jacky V.

Miranda: I guess that’s true. Ironically (for me), they were probably thinking they were being respectful by NOT assuming that I was a guy. In any case, I didn’t give anyone shit for it. They all switched when I informed them so I have nothing to complain about.

Edward: It’s exciting indeed! Yup, it’s been 12 weeks. Injection 13 happens tomorrow morning. Time sure flies!

Jill: Thanks for the congrats. Yes, it’s very powerful. I already have darker hairs growing in on my face. I can’t wait 🙂

18 08 2008

Lucky guy!

I don’t think I pass that consistently at all. I pass more often when I’m topless b/c people just see the chest and think male. But the other day I met a lesbian woman, I was topless (I usually am), and we chatted for a bit. About 3 minutes into the conversation she called me a “girly girl” which caught me a bit off guard. I don’t really come across as “girly” do I?! Dear Lord. My voice is lower but ambiguous, and I just wondered what she must have been thinking about my chest. She’s new in my neighborhood–maybe she just thinks women go topless more around here? Or maybe as Miranda suggested, she assumed I was just “pushing the limits of gender expression?” Anyway, I told her I was trans and that male pronouns are now appropriate.

I really look forward to passing!

19 08 2008
Jacky V.

Hey, look at it this way: we really have no idea of the degree to which we’re read as male by strangers since we don’t interact with most of them. When you walk by someone, they might read you as male and you’ll never know about it.

Lucky you . .. getting to go topless! *I* envy *you*!

24 08 2008

I think passing is sometimes about context, too. Granted, I’m butch and not trans, but I find I consistently pass in one city where I’ve lived the past year, and not as consistently in another. I’m 6′ and thin; the first city has lots of hipster guys and based on my body type and dress, they just assume (men and women) that’s what I am. The other city is more southern and rural-ish, and I don’t have the build and dress style of the guys there.

It’s taken me aback, actually, since I’m so used to being called “sir.”

(Not sure why it bothers me that I’m not passing–that’s a topic for a fuller blog post, I’d guess).

Anyhow, congrats on the 12 week mark!

25 08 2008
Jacky V.

Thanks for the comment Malcolm. Yeah, I definitely notice that I’m read as male more or less depending on the context. I’m read as male almost 100% of the time at the amusement park with my son, but not in public transportation. Weird.

31 08 2008

I’ve been working with an LGBT organization (planning some gay/trans-friendly activities at school), where I first introduced myself as female.

Then I asked to be called by my male name, and they did start using that name, but they still used “she”! Maybe I wasn’t clear enough in my request. Later I asked about trans resources, so that should clear things up.

Actually, it was within that organization that I realized I didn’t want to be called “she”. I had assumed that, within an gender-understanding community, I wouldn’t mind being a woman -in there, “woman” doesn’t equal “feminine”- but, even there, I didn’t feel like a woman.

1 09 2008

Hey jaky,
Just wanted to check in and say hi. Been busy. lets see.. its been 15 weeks today on T. I am having to shave every ohter day. My facial hair is coming in coarse on the chin, soft on the side of my face, patchy throughout. My blood pressure has shot up, but the Doc. says no worries. Need to lose some weight and drink more water. Libido is up. My wife is happy. Hips are shrinking..belly is growing..hence the need to lose weight. hair is thining quickly :(, but I started propecia so it will slow it down. The hair receding caught me a little off guard, but it is liveable if it slows down. being read as male 100% of the time. Still have some bloating in hands from time to time.
thats it for now..time for a shot..lol


2 09 2008
Jacky V.

Genderkid: I’ve found that adjusting the name is easier for most people than adjusting the pronoun. Many people think that, until we “fully” transition, whatever THAT means, we are still going by our “old” pronoun. After 3 months on T with strangers consistenly reading me as male, I still get she’d by people at work. Part of me gets it but part of me is like: dammit, how can you see a guy in front of you and call him “she”?!?

Cris: Nice to see you again! I’m almost at 15 weeks too : ) I don’t shave that often because I like to let the hairs grow out a bit. It helps me get read as male. Shrinking hips, growing belly . . .hahaha, I hear ya! I noticed in the past few days that my jeans and shorts are naturally hanging down lower in that typically male way, with the belly sticking out over the top. *sigh* yeah, more exercise, less eating crap.

14 09 2008

hi!! all of u a transman !! can u help me !! what can i do??

15 09 2008
Jacky V.

Allen: Can you be a bit more specific?

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