How to date a transman

30 01 2008

UPDATED DECEMBER 20, 2009: Link fixed.

Hope this doesn’t come across as self-promotion. I had heard of this page before but hadn’t looked at it because of the assumption that it was just more trannie-fetishising (as in, how to get the transboy of your dreams and keep him in a cage so you can show your friends how cool you are for dating a transboy). But I finally checked it out and it’s a very thorough list of things to consider for anyone to who is sexually or emotionally involved with an FTM. Worth checking out even if you’re not in that situation as some of the stuff applies even in non-sexual or non-emotional contexts.



9 responses

4 02 2008

Miranda: We haven’t been on Livejournal and didn’t see your comment about what happened until today. Are you all right, dear? What happened?

Rogan: I was dubious about the title of that article until I read it, and then I just laughed. I have only uncloseted a couple times to guys, never in the terms of being tranny, and I’ve STILL had some of those reactions. I still recall being told, “Aw, but you’re such a CUTE girl!” with all seriousness. That or they go the opposite direction, assume I’m gay, and react with fear because OMG I might grope them.

Mac, on the other hand, doesn’t treat the body as his (the reason he abuses it by running laps like a demented Greyhound). He, oddly, never has any people thinking he’s not male–instead, they usually get the Pervert Look and go, “So, having a girl’s body… heh heh… how does it FEEL?”

17 03 2008

hiya – thanx for the link – im a straight girl dating a transman and found it very interesting – 😀

28 02 2010
Jessica Sideways

I’m trying to find a transman of my very own. I’m actually looking for a guy who can relate to the vagaries of transition. Of course, I don’t expect him to get all of them (nor I in his case) because I am a transsexual woman.

20 03 2010
Jacky V.

Hi Jessica! Sorry it took so long to respond to your comment. Indeed, it can be nice to date someone who “gets” us on a first-hand basis because they experience something similar.

On the other hand, among the trans people that I know, we are so diverse in terms of how we experience and perceive being trans.

Good luck in your quest : )

18 03 2008
Jacky V.

Glad you found it useful!

20 12 2009
Dating a transguy? « Tboy Jacky

[…] as “dating a transman” and variations thereof. Most of them wind up linking to my post “How to date a transman” which, in turn, linked to an article by Raven Kaldera which I can no longer locate. His site now […]

2 01 2011
Wordpress 2010 Stats « Tboy Jacky

[…] How to date a transman January 2008 6 comments 5 […]

6 05 2011

i my name is brittany I love the posts I HAVE BIN READING ON THIS PAGE
I do not know where to start
i am a mtf and have had so many bumps in my road I had surgey over 5 years ageo and i AM VERY LONEY .maby TO MUTCH .I have bin woundering would a FTM date a MTF all the trans girls hang out IN A school girl group and life is going like to change that we have all bin throw hell and some still are
and mabey the ones that are would work beter with some one that had went throw the same hell as them ow you have twitter on this blog if so >brittanymiss<

2 01 2012

I would date you happy new year

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